Whats your thing in December?

Monday December 9th--Celebrate Life not Loss.

 Finding thankfulness in loss and grief is hard sometimes. The pain of loss hurts; I miss the traditions shared by my grandma G especially around the holidays. Remembering life not loss is what I choose.  I choose to be grateful and use my energy to dedicate my life to my grandma, my kids, and my future grandchildren. How grateful I am for the closeness, physical and emotional, that I shared with my grandma. Our family was lucky enough to live nearby….a three mile bike ride. Grandpa died before I was born so I know that grandma loved my company. She taught me how to garden, dust, have confidence, eat healthy, how to read better (she would make me read out loud), how to be kind, how to mow the lawn, and so much more. I celebrate her in memory. Today on her birthday, she would have been 105.  Grandma was  64 when I was born, she did got married until 37, so she had a late start. I had an early start so I hope I have many years to be a healthy grandma to my grand-kids.

You don’t need to “move on” but “move further” by sharing memories, celebrating birthdays, making new traditions, experience true love, and the time spent before your loss. Loss is not always experienced by death. Divorce, emotional separation, and a hard heart can create loss.

I think that I miss her so much because I truly loved her. What a blessings to truly love and trust someone so deeply. She was my savior, my escape, my hope, and an example of how I want to live my life every day.

 I truly owe her my life. 3 years ago as I lay in a hospital bed after a full hysterectomy all alone, I was in great pain. This pain was extreme, a 20 out of 10.  I was grateful that the Drs. didn't find any cancer with the 4 masses found, but I was so discouraged because of my circumstances. I was suffering emotional and physically. I thought I was going to die. All alone, I was extremely scared. My first night in the hospital was extremely hard. Early in the morning I was very lonely, needed comfort and pain relive. My grandma was there for me, not physically, but in spirit. Those four days, and the next several years after this, I have experiences many disappointing times. With God and my grandma by my side I know I can make it.