What's Your Thing in December?

Saturday December 14th-Attend a Christmas Party
Of course there are lots of parties going on in December. Whether with family or friends, parties are a time to pig out, have sugar overload and enjoy each other's company.  Sometimes they can be stressful. Family drama can cause hurt feelings and jealousy.  I became a participant observer at a party. I was not sure how I was to act, trying not to step on anyone's toes or set off a bomb or of course be myself. I can be the life of the party, but it does depend how "ok" or welcomed I feel or how many disappointing moments I've experienced lately.  I do know one I am not going to fake or pretend that people are my friends when they are not. I am not going to expect miracles, apologies, or empathy because they just are not going to happen. So for the time being, I participate as an observer and nothing more. 

• Don’t expect miracles. If your holiday anxiety stems from a deeper history of family conflict, don’t expect that you’ll be able to resolve any big underlying issues now. Sure, it’s supposed to be a season of forgiveness and good will. But in the midst of a hectic holiday season, you can’t pin your hopes on leading family members to big emotional breakthroughs. You may be better off focusing on your own state of mind and confronting difficult issues during a less volatile time of year.

• Don’t worry about how things should be. “There’s a lot of cultural pressure during the holidays,” says Duckworth. “We tend to compare ourselves with these idealized notions of perfect families and perfect holidays.” But in fact, most people have less than perfect holiday gatherings -- they have family tension, melancholy, and dry turkey too. If you have negative feelings, don’t try to deny them. Remember that there’s nothing wrong or shameful or unusual about feeling down during the holidays.
• Unhappy memories. Going home for the holidays naturally makes people remember old times, but for you the memories may be more bitter than sweet. “During the holidays, a lot of childhood memories come back,” says Duckworth, who is also an assistant professor at Harvard University Medical School. “You may find yourself dwelling on what was inadequate about your childhood and what was missing.” If you associate the holidays with a bad time in your life -- the loss of a loved one, a previous depression -- this time of year will naturally bring those memories back.http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/features/home-for-the-holdays-stress-tips